Another couple of busy days on the tour. Went to St Albans and Reading yesterday. Left the flat at 08.30 and didn't get back until 23.00!!! I pretty much fell into bed!! Today wasn't quite as jam-packed, as I just had one event in the morning (in a lovely church -- the first time I think I've performed in a sacred place!), then a signing in the afternoon. After that I went with Bas to visit her brother and his two young sons. Spent a couple of hours playing with them -- a nice break from the demands of the tour! Then it was back home, pausing to grab a kebab on the way.

As those who've come to my events will know, I love to strangle people!!! I don't like smiling for photos -- I much prefer to pull a snarling face! And often I pretend to strangle the people who pose with me. I think that makes for a much better photo -- the fans can show it to their friends and boast that they survived strangulation at the hands of Darren Shan!!!! A few days ago, one fan asked if he could pretend to strangle me. Of course I agreed, but it was only when he had his hands round my throat that I realised how vulnerable a position I'd left myself in -- if he chose to squeeze tight, it would be hard to fight him off, and since people around would probably think I was only acting, help might be slow coming to hand!!!! I immediately thought -- this would be a good idea for a scene in a book, in which a villain decides to kill a famous author in public! It's the sort of idea that would have sat right at home in an old Vincent Price film! But then, later, I realised that I probably wasn't the first person to think of this -- I'm sure it's flashed through the thoughts of many of the fans who have trusted themselves to the tender mercies of my hands! Sometimes, when I have my hands around a fan's throat, I can feel their heart beating really fast. I used to think it was because they were especially excited to see me -- but now I think it's because they're absolutely terrified I'm going to kill them!!!!! But will I stop strangling, now that I have this new insight? Will I heck -- it's my job to scare!!!!!!! As far as I'm concerned, the more you guys tremble in your socks, the better a service I'm providing!!!!