Went for a walk along Southbank yesterday, and popped into the Tate Modern so that Bas could see the infamous "crack". As we came out, she spotted a large spider sculpture outside (I'd seen it before) by Louis Bourgeois. We'd seen one like it in Roppongi when we were in Tokyo in the summer, so she was intrigued. We found out there was an exhibition of Bourgeois' work on, so we went to see it. I was very impressed -- a large body of interesting, creative work. Not everything caught my fancy (but then, no artist has ever produced an entire body of work which appeals equally to their admirers -- we all react differently to each individual piece of art), but most of it impressed, and it was very well laid out. I was also startled by the fact that she was born in 1911, is still alive (meaning she must be 96 or so now) and still working!!!! The exhibition is finishing soon, but if you're in London and you get a chance to see it, do pop along.

Later we went to the BAC (Battersea Arts Centre) to see Masque of the Red Death, a "promonade performance" by the Punchdrunk theatre group. This has been claimed by most critics as the theatrical event of 2007 -- almost every review I read said it was an amazing experience. Basically, the company took over a huge building and re-designed every room, taking the stories of Edgar Allen Poe as their theme. They also stage adaptations of his stories every night, but not in a linear fashion -- they break them up, and the acts take place all over the building, and you have to wander around and try to find them by yourself. If that sounds confusing, don't worry -- it confused me too!!! In fact, I was very wary of this show. Because it was so different to anything else I'd ever seen, I wasn't sure I'd like it. It's completely sold out, even though it's been extended to April, and I had to pay way over the odds on Ebay to get the tickets. I thought I might end up regretting the purchase, that I might come away snorting in disgust and bewilderment. At best I thought it might amuse me for an hour or so, and then Bas and I could leave early for a quiet night in.

Readers, it was probably the BEST show I have ever witnessed in my life.

It was an amazing experience -- and I use that word purposefully, because this wasn't a show you watched, it's a show you got involved in. When you enter the building, you are given a mask which you must wear at all times, and told to be silent. You then wander through a series of strangley decorated rooms, all gloomy and very atmospheric. The attention to detail is astonishing -- it really is like stepping into another, fully realised world. At first it's rather overwhelming, and it all seems to be impressive but untheatrical -- it took us a while to find any actors, and then longer to stumble into any actual stories. But the wait was well worth it. We began to get glimpses of scenes taking place as we moved further into the building. In one room a man ranted and raved, talking to thin air. Two men staged an acrobatic fight on a huge flight of stairs. We started to follow one of them (the actors trail around the building in what seem like random patterns, but aren't), then an eerie, troubled-looking woman caught our attention and we following her up a tight set of stairs, through an attic, to a small, tense room, where we and two other lucky people saw an adaptation of "The Tell-Tale Heart", one of my favourite Poe stories of all, and mesmerically done here.

There was one large scene, spread out over a number of rooms, based mostly on "Fall of the House of Usher", which we gradually managed to piece together and make sense of by viewing bits of it at various times of the night. We caught a tiny snippet of "The Black Cat" but no more than that. We found the Palais Royale after a long, frustrated search, where we took off our masks, had a drink and watched some wonderful cabaret acts which would have been the main draw at most shows. And then, after some more wandering, we and all the others were whisked off to the titular Masque, to witness a flamboyant Dance of Death. There was even a party with a band afterwards (Katie Melua was rumoured to be perfoming at 23.00!!), but it had been a long day and we were exhausted, so we left about 22.30 to make our way home in wonderment.

This really was a most astonishing experience. As I said, it's sold out, but tickets are on sale on eBay. If you have the funds, or can convince someone to buy you one for a birthday or whatever, I recommend you go. It's a one-off marvel which will be talked about for years. If you miss it now, you'll regret it, as it will probably never be staged again.

We flew back to Ireland this afternoon, and the first thing we did when we got in was watch the 1964 Roger Corman movie of Masque of the Red Death. Bas had never seen it, and although I've seen it many times since first catching it when I was a child, I'm always happy to watch it again. It's a wonderful film, not so much a horror flick as a mood piece. Corman made dozens of films over the years, most of them low-budget and low-quality. But most of his Poe adaptations stand out from his body of work, and this is his masterpiece, an Ingmar Bergman-inspired exploration of good, evil, God, the Devil, and much, much more. Some of the actors are average, and the prose is purple in places, but it's a movie I can watch over and over, whether I'm 10, 20, 30 or 35 -- and there are precious few of those around!!! Unlike the show, the film is readily accessible, and I highly recommend it. Not as magical or awe-inspiring as the show, but an unsettling, strangely beautiful piece that will linger long in your memory and inspire many brooding thoughts and dreams ...

Spent most of yesterday putting together the latest issue of the Shanville Monthly. Then, after dinner in Giraffe (a very nice chain of restaurants in the UK), we went to see Chatroom/Citizenship at The National. Two short plays, written for teenagers by established playwrights, and cast mostly with teens or young adults, they were very impressive. They were issue-based, a bit simplistic in places, but on the ball most of the time. Good plays for teenagers to either put on themselves, or just watch, and interesting for old fogeys like me too. The best thing was the length -- an hour or less each. I LOVE short plays!!! Too many plays drag on far longer than they need to, for two and half or three hours. One of the things I love most about the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is that most plays run for about an hour, so if you don't like what you're watching, you don't have to suffer for long. These reminded me of being in Edinburgh, so it was a highly pleasing night.

Today I went to pick up some paintings that I bought recently. Walked through Green Park to get one of them -- I love walking through there, watching the squirrels foraging for food, the ducks and strange birds that linger round the lake. A few days ago a couple of big pelicans were standing still in the middle of a path, crowds of tourists around them, as if posing for photos! I took parks for granted when I was younger -- they were just places to run about in, or shortcuts to places I wanted to go -- but now I love a good stroll through a nicely put together park. Maybe that's a sign that I'm getting old ...

Speaking of getting old, I received an email today asking if I was more scared of horror when I was younger -- the person had read an article which claimed that we got less scared of horror movies and books the older we got. Actually, I find it's the opposite. While I certainly think our imaginations run wilder when we're younger, I think horror works better the older you get. At least that's been my experience, and I've heard other people say the same thing. I happily sat through horror movies when I was a teen, waiting for the scary bits, longing for them, never feeling REALLY scared, loving the gross bits, laughing more than I screamed. These days they hit me harder. I find myself tensing, hoping the film doesn't go TOO far. I wince at cruel, bloody scenes which would have made me smile fifteen or twenty years ago. I think most people get more sensitive as they grow older, more wary of what they know can be a hard world. Of course teenagers are aware of death and suffering, but I don't think it seems quite as real as it does to adults -- because we're closer to it than most teens and children, we feel the Grim Reaper breathing down our necks more keenly than they do. That doesn't hold true in every case, of course -- I got another email today from a girl whose mother is dying, so I'm sure that girl is sadly all too aware of how nasty and hurtful the world can be -- but I think it's a general rule. So those of you who get a buzz out of horror, but wish you could be more scared than you are, don't worry, you probably will be one day. The trouble is, you probably won't WANT to be scared so much then ...

Be careful what you wish for, Shansters!!!!!!!

Oh, almost forgot, I went to see I Am Legend tonight. It wasn't especially scary, even for a quivering old pile of bones and jelly like me, but it had some nice, creepy moments, and was very well filmed. Not a must-see, but worth a look.

Happy New Year everyone!! I hope 2008 brings you lots of happiness and success, and proves to be your best year ever -- at least so far!!!

Bas and I walked to John Lewis on the 31st to pick up food we'd ordered for our party. Then, after setting up much of the flat for it, we went to see The Kite Runner at the cinema. I enjoyed it a lot -- in fact I'd cite it as one of my favourite films of 2007!!! It's a beautifully told story about a man who lets cowardice hurt him and his friend when he's a boy, and his attempt many years later to atone for his weakness. It was lovely to end the year with such an unexpected cinematic treat, and I just hope the first film I see in 2008 is even half as good as this one!!

After that we returned to the flat, finished getting ready, then started greeting our guests about 20.00. Our new flat overlooks the back of the London Eye, so we had an excellent view of the fireworks at midnight, which was why we opted to have the party in the first place. And the show didn't disappoint -- the Eye and sky were set aflame with pyrotechnical wizardry and for ten minutes we watched on from one of the best vantage points in the entire city. Nice!!!! The party rocked on long afterwards -- we had about 25 people around, mostly family, but some friends too, and everyone had a fun time. We drank, ate, sang, danced, and next thing I knew it was 05.30 and it was over!!!! Bas and I were exhausted (hosting a party takes it out of you, especially if you throw yourself into it as we like to do), but we went for a short walk over the river, along the bank, then back round to our flat, just to calm down and get a bit of fresh air. It was an odd but nice feeling, walking along the almost deserted streets, the evidence of the hundreds of thousands of party-goers all around, but all the people having seemingly vanished. When we got back, we slept until after midday, then went up to Covent Garden for dinner in TGI Fridays, and I watched Spurs lose 2-1 on TV to Aston Villa -- not the best of starts to the New Year!!!

I enjoyed the party last night a LOT. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of parties, whether for weddings, engagements or other reasons. My favourite parties were those thrown just for the hell of it, where everyone could have fun -- a barbecue because the weather was nice, or a party because someone from another country was visiting. We didn't have many parties -- they seem to have become more popular now than they were in the 1980s, at least in my experience -- but the good ones stand out in my mind even 20 years later, parties where I was able to run around freely, where older family members got a bit tipsy and sang or danced or told rude jokes, where everyone was happy, where the food was good and never seemed to end. I think a good party is one of the best things we can enjoy in life, so although it's a lot of hassle getting it ready, and you have to clean up afterwards (I didn't enjoy mopping the floors with a hangover today!), and it can be quite costly to arrange ... it's worth it. To experience a few hours of total joy with people you like or love ... celebrating nothing more than the fact that you're all alive and together ... acting a bit foolishly and not giving a damn because it's only in front of your family and friends, and they're acting foolishly too ...

Is there anything better in life? It doesn't seem so to me. I hope, many years from now, when I'm lying on my deathbed and thinking my last few thoughts, that I don't remember the bad stuff, the times I was weak or cowardly (and I think we all have moments of weakness and cowardice in our lives), the regrets, the mistakes, the setbacks, the losses. I just want to remember the parties.

Went to see King Lear on Saturday. Ian McKellen stars in it. I've seen him in a few plays over the years, but I've never seen him do Shakespeare. When I found out he was doing probably my favourite Shakespeare play of all, I HAD to go, even though it meant not going to see my beloved Spurs in action (and they won 6-4, apparently the most exciting game of the season -- sod's law!!). It was a very good production, though perhaps a little stodgy in parts. But McKellen was great, everything I expected -- indeed, I got a little bit more, because at one part he dropped his trousers and showed off his privates!!! I'm not sure it was entirely necessary, but at least I can now say I'm one of a very small number of people to have seen Ian McKellen's biggest part ...

Bas and I went to her brother's house after the play, to give Christmas presents to his two boys. We spent a nice few hours there, then returned to our flat and had a quiet night in. This morning we walked through St James' Park and Green Park, up to the Apple Store on Regent St, so that Bas could hand in her Mac notebook for repair (she converted to Apple a few years ago and swears by it; I keep meaning to follow her lead, but I'm so used to PCs, I just can't tear myself away from them, even though I've never owned one that hasn't frustrated me in one way or another ...). We had lunch in Brown's off of Bond Street, then did some shopping in Iceland, stacking up on drinks for a New Years Eve party which we're throwing -- we have a great view of the London Eye from our flat, so we've invited some friends and family around to watch the fireworks at midnight. We went for a swim and sauna to unwind, then watched the BBC adaptation of Shadow in the North. I thought it was pretty good, about on a par with the version they did of the first Sally Lockhart book last year (the books were written by Philip Pullman, and are excellent, especially the third, which I hope they'll film for next Christmas). The books don't lend themselves especially to film, but a good part of their quality shines through. After that we saw a programme about J K Rowling, which was quite interesting. And now we're off to bed for our last night of sleep of 2007. I'm pretty sure I won't be posting on New Years Eve, so I'll wish you all a Happy New Year now, and I'll be back here with you all early in 2008. Peace, people!!!

Howdy all -- I'm back! It's been a busy few days. I finished up my edit of Hell's Horizon on Christmas Eve, as I indicated with my little impromptu poem that night (I hadn't meant to write a poem -- it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time!). I'm very pleased with the book. I didn't do anything to it structurally, but trimmed it down by 24,000 words -- so hopefully it real read much more tightly now.

Went to my Grandparents for Christmas Day dinner, as I do every year when I'm in Ireland. My parents were there, Bas and her parents, and one of my aunts and her hubby and daughter. We had a fine meal, ate loads, then unwrapped presents afterwards. I got some nice little gifts. I never get big gifts because ... well, I don't really need anything big! If there's something I want badly, I nearly always buy it for myself, as I'm too impatient to wait! But fun little gifts are nice and welcome, and this year I got a CD, a book, a pint glass with the Spurs crest, socks, etc. Nothing overly exciting, but then I don't think too many adults get exciting Christmas presents -- it's a time for the young, so enjoy it while you can!!!!

I went to the Limerick horse races on St Stephen's Day with Bas and her Mum. It's good fun, and a couple of my horses came in -- one of them was a 25-1 long shot, and I had a tenner on it, so I won over €300 in total -- NICE!!!!! I came away with the long, satisfied chuckle of lucky gamblers the world over -- there's nothing so sweet as quickly won cash!!!! Visited some relatives and had a fairly early night -- this was one of our quetest Christmases ever, with not even a single visit to our local pubs!!

On the 27th Bas and I drove to Galway to see one of my favourite bands, The Hitchers. They were a Limerick band who I went to see a lot in the mid- and late-90s. They released two albums, a few singles, and built up a loyal but small fan base. Alas, they never got the lucky break they deserved, and broke up several years ago. But they reunite every Christmas for a one-off gig -- and I've somehow managed to miss every one!!! Each time they play, I'm away! This year was no different -- they were playing in Limerick on the 28th, but I'd already booked to travel to London that day! Fortunately they also did a gig in Galway this year, the night before, so I was determined not to miss it!!! We drove up, checked into our hotel, did some shopping, had a scrumptious fish-n-chips dinner, then watched Limerick's finest rock through their best tunes as if it was ten years ago and the world was still theirs for the taking. It was fine stuff, expertly delivered -- hard to believe they'd only had one day's practise for it!! Check out their MySpace page here if you're unfamiliar with them: THE HITCHERS

There was a really good support band on the bill, also from Limerick, called We Should Be Dead. Fronted by a couple of punkish ladies, they made a big impression and I'll definitely be checking them out live again. Their MySpace page is also worth having a look at, though the songs on it don't quite capture the energy of their live set (with the exception of the rather rudely named one!!): WE SHOULD BE DEAD

Today we flew over to London. Had a few hours in the flat, catching up with emails and going through the post. Then we walked to the National to see their adaptation of War Horse by Michael Morpurgo. The lifesize puppets of the hourses were amazing, incredible to watch, and it was certainly worth seeing for them alone. The story however was a bit flat and far-fetched. The National like to put on a big, emotional family show at Christmas, but while Coram Boy last year finely trod the line between sentimental and mawkish, this one tried a little too hard to tug on people's heart-strings. It was by no means bad, but take the puppets out of it and it would all be a bit risible and forgettable.

Twas the night before Christmas, and deep in the house,
Shan was at work -- boy, what a grouse!
Why isn't he guessing what Santa will send?
Why waste his time on a mere edit's end?
Surely he has more fun things to do
Than sit in his office and make City stew!
Doesn't he know the hard work can wait?
He should relax before it's too late,
Before he goes toes-up at his PC,
Moaning, "At last, oh my lord, at the end I can see
That there's much more to life than telling a tale,
I should have stopped writing and let myself sail
Along with the others, carefree and gay.
(But not, let me add, gay in that way!)"
But the truth of the matter, although it is strange,
Is Shan isn't a loner or grimly deranged.
He just gets sucked into the stories he tells,
And when in that world, all with him's well.
So though some might mock him on this bright eve,
He follows his heart because he believes
You can only be happy if you are true,
To all that is pure -- to all that is you.
Hell's Horizon was waiting, keen to be told,
So Shan pushed ahead till the evening was old
And wrapped up his edit just after eight,
No present this Christmas could be quite as great!
I got what I wanted for Christmas, and so
I'll go to bed happy, singing "Ho-ho-ho-ho!!!"

Night night, Shansters. Merry Christmas!!!!

Darren.

Edited a good chunk of Hell's Horizon over the weekend -- no rest for me in the run-up to Christmas!! I'm determined to finish it before the end of the year, not because I have to, but because that's the goal I set myself, and I like meeting goals -- a lot of writing, as I've said before, is about your mental attitude, and if you set goals for yourself and meet them, you feel positive, and that feeds back into your writing and helps you keep going. So, yuletide or not, I'm pushing on and squeezing in as much work on the book every day that I can. I'll obviously ease up a bit over the next few days, to enjoy the festivities, but I won't rest fully until I have my edit in the can!!!

Answered a lot of fan mail tonight. Saw the film Bobby which was quite good overall, though weak in places. Still getting through season 4 of Oz, which is as violent and compelling as ever.

I probably won't get back on here before Christmas, though I'll try to check in at least once on Christmas Day to say hello, as I usually do. So, for the final time this year -- MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!!!! I hope you all enjoy yourselves, relax, eat some good turkey, watch some good telly, and -- if you're of age or have understanding parents -- and quaff a nice glass or two of wine as well. Cheers!!

Received the following email tonight, from a new fan called Harry:

All my life i have hated books, no in fact despised books until about 3 weeks ago. I go to alot of gigs and there was a big one in birmingham and my mum would only let me go if i read a book. Hating books as i did but loving music so much i agreed. She brought me back Lord Loss. It looked pretty good so i began to read it, it sucked me in on the very first chapter. I was absoulutely mesmerised by it, i couldnt put it down. I finished the next night. My mum was amazed, i'd never finished a book before. She bought me Demon Thief soon after that and so on and so forth. I read them all within quick succession of each other, each as good as one another. My mum by the end of the week, fed up with buying me books, said i had to rent it from the library as it was costing too much. I never in a million years thought i'd use that libary card but never the less i rented Blood Beast from there and brought it back to the library the next day, the librarian was amazed. I finished Demon Apocalypse yesterday and would like to say thank you so much for showing me the wonders of reading. I had to accept the bullying from my freinds, they were shocked as well, but never the less i read them all. My mum would like to thank you aswell.

Heh heh -- the comment about his Mum complaining about the cost of the books made me chuckle -- be careful what you wish for, parents, or it might come true!!! But that's the great thing about libraries -- they provide access to all the books you could ever dream of, and for free!! But the reason the email struck a special chord with me is that I think not enough is made of the fact that books are part of the entertainment industry. There's this horrible, sickening train of thought at large in the world, backed up by people with the best of intentions but no idea of the damage they're wreaking. And that train of thought can be summed up in the following, hideous phrase which makes me shudder every time I hear it:

"Books are good for you."

I was actually asked a couple of weeks ago, during my interview for the Huckleberry Finn book that I've written a foreword for, to say why I thought books were important. I looked at the interviewer with a mixture of disgust and anger, then ranted and raved for about five minutes!! I think that's the LAST thing that should be said about a book, especially a children's book. There's nothing that turns peopls off faster than something that's supposedly GOOD FOR THEM. "Eat your veg -- they're good for you." They may well be, but they taste horrible, so NO!!!!!!! STICK YOUR BLOODY VEG WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!!!!!!!!!

You should NEVER read a book because it's good for you. And don't pay any attention to people who tell you that you should -- they're fool. Well-meaning fools, but fools all the same. Books are the same as bands, as computer games, as movies. They're part of the entertainment industry. They're written to excite and thrill and scare and emotionally touch readers. You should read because it's fun -- no other reason. There's a book for everyone, no matter what your taste. And the great thing about books is they complement all the other entertainment fields -- most films start life as books, many musicians and game designers are influenced by books, you can listen to a CD while reading. Books never suffer because of a small budget or because of creative differences. They're the simplest, purest form of entertainment possible, limited in scope only by the skill of their authors. They're dangerous and imaginative, libellous and erotic, violent and reactionary. Books start revolutions. They determine the way history is remembered. They shape minds and launch dreams. They let us believe that we can change the world, and show us how.

You shouldn't read a book because it's good for you. You should read because books kick ass -- big time!!!!!!! Harry's realised that now, and I'm pretty sure all of you reading these words know it too, or you wouldn't be here. But spread the word people -- there are lots of folk out there, labouring under the misapprehension that books are good for them and should this be avoided. Tell 'em it ain't so. Hook them in. Whisper in their ears, tell them of the wicked delights that lie in store between so many covers. Tell them the world of books is one of blood and gore and romance and sex and murder and betrayal and hard-fought victories and bitter defeats. The world's full of people who would be avid readers if someone just told them what treats lay in store. So go convert, my Shansters -- go forth and multiply!!!!

And if anyone tell you books are good for you ... point them in this direction and I'll take care of them!!!!!!

Did more work on Hell's Horizon today -- the twists are starting to kick in loud and fast!!! I got to wondering why I was enjoying this one so much compared to Procession of the Dead. Now, don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed going back to Procession, and I think it's a very strong book. In fact, it's the more imaginative and inventive of the two, and I suspect quite a few fans will prefer it when they read and compare the pair. HH isn't quite as spectacular a serving, having quite a traditional detective-style story as its structural backbone. But what it has, and what I like so much about it, is a far smoother flow. As I've often said here, writing is a learning process -- you have to keep writing and trying before you figure out how to do things. You can't just be taught or told. I'm sure lots of you who write to me looking for advice get frustrated when I say, "Just keep writing!" but that really IS the only way to improve!!!

Procession is a step-by-step novel. What I mean by that is, each chapter features a certain scene or dramatic moment, and as the book goes along, each one builds on the foundation of the others, meaning it's a bit of a jerky ride, i.e. you read chapter one and learn this; then you read chapter two and learn that; then you read chapter three ... and so on. It's how I think most writers start, and it's a very good way to start. When you're planning a first-time novel, my advice would be to break it down into chapters and write a short paragraph saying what you want to happen in each chapter. Try and have something important happen in all the chapters, so that eac one has a focal point, something that you can shape the chapter around. I think the hardest part of writing is the middle section of a book -- it's easy to get lost after a promising start, to find yourself mired in a sea where nothing much is happening fast, and characters don't seem to be going anywhere. If you have a specific goal for each chapter at the beginning, that will make your job easier. And that's what I had for Procession -- twelve chapter headings, with something strange or shocking in each chapter. The book underwent many elaborations in later drafts, but the structure didn't alter much from the very first draft, written way back when I had just turned 21.

Hell's Horizon, as I said yesterday, was a far more chaotic affair. The first draft didn't work. Nor did the second. That meant I had to rewrite, re-structure, bring in whole new segments and characters, junk a lot of what I'd written, play around with scenes and chapters and entire sections. It was a chaotic, messy affair -- but out of the chaos, the story grew. And as a result it's far more fluid than Procession. The story ebbs and flows, moving steadily in a forward direction, but with a less rigid structure. I think it's a smoother, more natural read, one that will probably suck you in more quickly than Procession, and have you turning the pages a bit faster. Where reading Procession Of The Dead is like walking up a staircase, reading Hell's Horizon is more like travelling on an escalator. Now, some people prefer stairs to escalators, but there's no denying that on the whole esclators are a slicker, easier, more enjoyable way of getting from the bottom of a drop to the top. Likeways, though I'm sure some fans will prefer Procession to HH, there's no doubt in my mind which is the better book. And I think Hell's Horizon was the first time that I fully realised that flow, that I went beyond the step pattern and created something more flexible. And that's probably why I enjoy it so much. It's not my first literary child -- nowhere near -- but it was the first to take a jump, not just walk on its own two feet.

Anyway, in other matters ... I re-worked my annual Shanta Claus story and have posted it to my web site, but it won't be up there for very long, so check it out ASAP!!!! This is the link: SHANTA CLAUS I always have fun going back to this one, and this year I included a relatively long new chapter set in Lord Loss's kingdom!! Just don't go reading too much into the new scenes -- they're intended to be enjoyed, not analysed for clues as to what's going to happen in the series!!!

I've been answering lots of fan mail recently, so if you've written to me during the last month or two and haven't received a reply yet, you probably will early in the new year!!! Bas and I went to see a band called Biffy Clyro in Limerick last night. They're quite well known, and have a very strong fan base, but we didn't think much of them -- in fact, we left halfway through!!! Lots of the fans there were obviously loving the gig, moshing like mad, so maybe we're just getting old and cranky, but it just sounded like noise to us!!!!! Nothing wrong with loud bands of course -- I'm a big fan of Metallica and The Pixies -- but I do like a degree of sophistication too, and I just didn't get that last night. Oh well -- horses for courses ...

I've been watching season 4 of Oz. It must be the bleakest, most violent TV show in history!!! I definitely don't recommend it for younger viewers, but it's compelling stuff for older fans, and perversely hilarious in a very dark, twisted sort of way!!! Something else that's perversely hilarious is a 1968 Czech film called The Cremator which I saw tonight -- it's about a cremator in 1939 who starts to lose his mind just prior to the Nazi invasion, but in a very weird way. It was a horrible film at heart, but done in such a wacky way, you couldn't help but laugh, even in the midst of its most tragic scenes! Worth checking out if you're into global cinema and fancy a taste of something different ...

I've continued working hard on Hell's Horizon over the last couple of days -- in fact I've been putting in more hours per day than I've done in a LONG while!!! This book started life very unimpressively -- my original idea was to do a grisly but fun homage to the noir films and books which I love so much, stuff like The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep. The first draft was short and snappy, full of supposedly sharp one-liners ... and it stunk!!! That just wasn't my style. But something about the story appealed to me, so I went back and expanded it, threw in more plot lines and characters, made it a bit more serious. But it still didn't work. Anyone with a modicum of sense would have junked it as a lost cause at that stage, but it gnawed away at me. I've written lots of books in my time, and while they always occupy a lot of my thoughts while I'm working on them, they tend to slip from them afterwards -- except for the good ones. Some of them just don't go away -- that's how I judge what's good and what isn't. Hell's Horizon wasn't working, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I believed there was a decent book in there somewhere, that I was failing it, that it could be better if I just figured out the right approach ...

So I went back to it and tried again. And this time it clicked. This was back in 1997, around the same time that I was working on the first draft of Cirque Du Freak. I'd finished my first book when I was a tender 17, in 1989, and had written quite a few more over the coming years. But it wasn't really until the mid 1990s that I felt things starting to truly come together, when I "found my voice" and began writing books in my own style. I wrote all different types of books, flitting from one genre to another -- horror, fantasy, sci-fi, sex (yes, I've written a few VERY steamy and disturbing books in my time, though none of those have yet to see print, and probably won't any time soon, if ever!!!). But in the mid 90s I began to develop an actual style, one that shone through regardless of the genre I was working with. It didn't mean everything I tried came off perfectly -- but at least I could see my strengths starting to shine through, even when a story wasn't working out quite the way I wanted.

The draft of Hell's Horizon that finally worked was probably one of my happiest experiences ever. The book had thrown up a mountain of obstacles, but by plugging away at it, I managed to overcome all of them. There was still a lot of work to do (here I am, applying the final polishes ten years later!!), but the most difficult part was behind me. I had written something that I KNEW was good, something that I KNEW would work. It hadn't been easy, and it had looked for a long time like I would fail. But pulling success from the fires of defeat is one of the most rewarding parts of being a writer. I don't think you can really appreciate success unless you've stared into the abyss of defeat. I believe that just about every writer (indeed, people in all walks of life) faces a moment in their life (probably lots of moments) when they look into their soul and admit, "I can't do this." Making that admission is an important part of developing. But even more important is then taking that admission, curling your fist around it, and walking forward to do that which you don't think you can do. Because you CAN do it. We all have the potential to do more than we believe we can. It's simply a case of refusing to accept our limits, of constantly pushing to do more, to be better, to go where we know, believe and fear we can't. In life, ultimately, I don't believe there's any such thing as CAN'T. There are those who DON'T. But all of us CAN.

Bloody hell -- I think I sound like a guest on Oprah!! I'm going to stop now before I start calling for a group hug. But you know ... the thing of it is ... all that I just said above?

It's all true.