Went to see a performance of "HMS Pinafore" yesterday, at the open air theatre in Regent's Park. This was the first time I'd watched a Gilbert & Sullivan show from start to finish, and though I was a bit dubious in advance, I thoroughly enjoyed it!!! The songs are great, and though the story is complete tosh, it's played for laughs, so it doesn't really matter. The cast were all strong, and the lovely setting added to the atmosphere. (We were lucky -- there were dark clouds overhead, but the rain held off!) This was my first time in Regent's Park -- it's a lovely spot. I definitely hope to get back there for some more theatre next summer ...

I got broadband for the laptop I use while in London -- it makes a HUGE difference!! Unfortunately, at my main PC in Ireland, I can't get a broadband connection, because Eircom are a bunch of Dark Age buffoons!!!! Oh well, one day it will come ... probably in 20 years or so, when there's something even newer and faster that the rest of the world are enjoying!!!!

Went up to Manchester today to see some art pieces by Willard Wigan. He's an amazing sculptor, who creates incredibly small works -- and I mean TINY!!!! You have to use a microscope to see them in detail! I'm hoping to buy a few pieces by him -- I'm impressed as much by the process involved in creating them as I am by the sculptures themselves -- he has to slow his heartbeat down in order to keep his hand steady!!!!! You can learn more about him, and see a few of his pieces (though they're nowhere near as impressive as they are in the diminutive flesh) at

Saw 4 shows on Monday. The best was Owen O'Neill, an Irish comedian and playwright who's written a series of brilliant one-man show over the years. I've seen him at the past 4 festivals -- he's the first act I look for every time I hit town. This year he took extracts from several of his plays and wove them together to make for a great hour of story-telling. I also saw "Puppetry of the Penis" -- not one for the faint-hearted!! Some of the stuff they did made me squirm in my seat at the thought of ever having such contortionistic twistings imposed on me!!!!!!

Saw 6 different acts on Monday!!! I was also booked to see a seventh, but cut one out in the evening, when I was feeling the pace! None of them blew me away, though I liked Chris Addison's "Atomicity" show a lot. Went to see Daniel Kitson do a stand-up routine at 23.30. Was supposed to go with Anthony Horowitz (we've met at various events over the years, and are quite friendly -- in response to a comment to an earlier entry, I know lots of children's authors, but usually don't see much of them unless our paths cross at events; Anthony, Eoin Colfer and Robin Jarvis would probably be the 3 I'd know best, though I've spent enjoyable meals and drinks with lots of others), but ... Actually, let's start that again! I was supposed to go with Anthony Horowitz, but he was at another show, and arrived late. The event was in a small venue, but it was dark and packed, and we missed each other inside, although we did bump into each other near the end!!!

Met Anthony the next day for a quick spot of lunch. He said he's put me in as a character in his next horror novel (the sequel to "Raven's Gate"), so that's one to look forward to!!! Apparently I'm going to be a villainous character, which suits me perfectly!!!!

I saw a couple of shows on Tuesday, squeezing in as much as I could before my flight back. The first, "Laurel and Laurel", was an interesting but uneven look at Stan Laurel's life (he of Laurel & Hardy fame). The other, "MacHomer", was the story of "MacBeth", but with all of the parts played by characters from "The Simpsons"!!! It was a one-man show -- the guy did all the voices. It was an amazing performance, but the material was only so-so, and I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I might. Also, I don't think he could do Bart's voice properly, because he only gave the young brat a tiny role!!!!!!!!!

After that, I caught my plane down to London. I always feel sorry when I leave Edinburgh, but I know I'll be back there sooner rather than later, so it's not too bad ...

Saw an Irish play, "Trad", on Sunday. Very peculiar -- all about a 100 years old bachelor and his father who set out to find the 70 years old son (and grandson) that they've never seen. Quite entertaining, but the room where it was playing was VERY hot and clammy. That's the only downside to the Festival -- a lot of the venues don't have air conditioning, and can get quite claustrophobic when there's a big crowd!! I spotted a number of people dozing off, purely from the heat!

The best thing I saw this year was "Dirty Fan Male". The guy who put this together - Jonny Trunk - used to run fan clubs for soft-porn models (his sister was one of them!!), and he collected letters which over-zealous fans sent in. A few years ago he got a friend of his (Wisbey -- he can do funny voices and songs) to read out the letters in amusing ways; they recorded it and released a limited edition CD. They then turned it into a play, and a book has just been released too!!! The show was hilarious, but VERY filthy -- definitely NOT for children!!!! I literally cried with laughter at some of the pieces. A case where life is stranger AND funnier than fiction!!!

Also saw Brendon Burns, a good, solid stand-up. I was sitting in the front row. At one stage he stuck his hand out and nodded for me to stick out mine -- he wanted to slap it ("Right on, brother!!"). But I thought he wanted me to high-five him, so I stuck my hand up instead of just sticking it out. Luckily he saw me for the geekish fool that I am and chose to chuckle pityingly instead of making me the butt of his jokes for the next 10 minutes!!!!!

Tied the night off by going to see "La Clique", a brilliant mix of cabaret and acrobatics that I also saw last year. The show I saw wasn't as memorable as the one I saw previously -- one of the main acts (twin brothers, who could play Sive and Seersa if they were female!) didn't perform, perhaps because it was a Sunday. But it was still very enjoyable, and amazing in places. My favourite act was the stripping lady magician ...

*AHEM!!!!!!*

Writing this in an internet cafe just off Cowgate road in Edinburgh -- a LOT more comfortable then the phone box where I made my last entry!!!! I've been buzzing around the Fringe Festival since my last event on Saturday. Seen a lot of plays and comedians. Each year, when I'm planning my trip to Edinburgh, I worry that I'm going to be left with time on my hands, that there will be nothing worth seeing -- and each year I'm proved spectacularly wrong, and end up wishing I'd stayed longer so that I could have seen a few more shows!!! Oh well -- here are some of the highlights of what I saw this year, with more to follow later ...

I started off with comedian Danny Bhoy, whom I saw last year as well. He's a lot of fun, though quite straightforward with his comedy -- easy to take. Then I saw Daniel Kitson do one of his "stories" shows, where he basically sits and tells warm, funny, sad little stories. It was nice, though I prefer him as a stand-up. (I'm going to see him perform stand-up later tonight, and I'm taking Anthony Horowitz along -- though I'm not sure what he'll make of him!!!! It's always strange, taking a friend to see a show or comedian you reall like -- what if they hate it?!?) I rounded Saturday night off with a late show at the Assembly Rooms. Saw 5 comedians (plus a large. bull-headed, late addition to the show, who was awful!!!). The best were Mark Watson (a fairly new Welsh comedian who's been making a lot of waves over the last couple of years) and Demetri Martin (he won the Perrier a couple of years ago). The big disappointment of the night was Jimeoin -- this is the third time I've seen him, and while I really like him before, he's done the exact same jokes on all 3 occasions!!!!

On Sunday I went to see John Irving give a book talk. (The only book event I made it to this year. I'd planned to go to a couple of others, but things didn't work out.) It was OK, but I found it slightly boring -- I don't get that excited by writers who talk dryly and seriously. I prefer to have a bit of fun!! Also, at the signing afterwards, a friend of mine was getting her book signed just before me. She asked him to dedicate it to her (put her name in it). He pulled a face and sighed. To be fair to him, he DID dedicate it to her, but he made it seem like she'd insulted him. I was going to ask for mine to be dedicated too, but when I saw him react like that, I thought, "Tosser!!", and didn't bother. Now, on occasion, at my own signings, if I'm racing against the clock, I'll just sign my name and not dedicate -- but that happens extremely rarely, and I always apologise if I have to rush. I believe that it's a privilege for a writer to be asked to dedicate a book -- most writers dream of such moments, but rarely or never experience them. And it's polite -- if fans come and wait patiently in line, they deserve to have their books dedicated if they wish. I have very little time for writers who think they're better than their fans, or who begrudge putting a dedication in a book. I still love John Irving's books, but he's gone way down in my estimation as a person ... Of course, I might just have caught him on a bad day .......

I'm typing this in an internet phone box at the top of Rose St in Edinburgh. The keys are tiny and poxy, so please excuse any spelling mistakes!!

Just finished my second event at the festival. The first, "The birth of Darren Shan" was OK, but not great -- it took longer to tell than I thoght, so I had to rush it a bit, and there wsn't as much time for Q&A as I'd haveliked, and I had to cut the Song from it!!! But at least the fans were patient, and I enjoyed the signing afterwards. I knew I wouldn't enjoy this event as much as one of my normal ones, but I like to trynew things every so often!!

I enjoyed my "Demonata" event much more. I read out extracts from the next 3 books inthe series, answered LOTS of questions, and got to sing my "Darren Shan is just the man ..." song at the end!!! Had a bigger crowd than last year, which was great!! Thanks for everyone who came, and especially those who waited so patiently to hve their books signed!!!!!

I'm staying on in Edinburgh for a few days, to enjoy the festival, so it might be a while before I post here again ...

I'm writing this in London City airport. Was supposed to get the 10.00 flight up to Edinburgh, but it's been delayed by an hour!!  Grrr!!!!! There's nothing worse than being stuck at an airport if you're a frequent traveller, but at least there's internet access at this one, so I can waste a bit of time online (albeit at a cost of £1 per 10 minutes!). Hopefully the delay will JUST be the promised one hour, although in my experience these delays can often stretch and stretch and ...

There was thunder and lightning this morning, which is just the thing to settle your nerves when you're about to go flying -- particularly in a week when there have been 2 major air crashes!!!!!!

Oh well -- it's all part of the job!! I'd still rather fly to Edinburgh than make the slow trek by train, although if the delay increases, the train will probably make it there before me .......

Just got back from a marathon 6 hours Shakespeare session!!! Went to see "Henry IV, Parts I & II" at the National Theatre. Michael Gambon was playing Falstaf. This was the first time I'd seen "Henry IV". I was a bit nervous that I'd struggle to follow it (a new Shakespeare play is always a potential challenge), but having seen "Richard II" a couple of years ago (the play's predecessor) and really enjoyed it, I was modestly confident that I'd be able to keep up with this one (or these two!).

The first part started with a long monologue, which was a bit tricky, and required a lot of concentration, but after that the play whizzed by! It's a great bit of theatre, full of action, humour and suspense. The characters of Harry, Falstaf and Hotspur are all first-rate and engaging. It was also cleverly staged and brilliantly acted. By the end, I was loving it, and craving more!!!

Then, after a pizza, came Part II ... and it was as flat as a pancake!!! Now, as I said above, I'm new to the play, so maybe I missed something (or a lot of somethings), but Part II felt like a damp squib!! It was clumsy ... there was no real pace to it ... the story was thin ... the timing of both the comedy and tragedy was surprisingly clunky, scenes playing for far longer than necessary. I know it takes a bold man (especially if you're a writer!) to challenge Mighty Will, but I think he missed the mark big time with Part II. It had good moments, especially in the second half, but overall I was very disappointed in it.

My advice to anyone contemplating going to see this would be to DEFINITELY catch Part I, but if you can bear to miss Hal's final confrontation with Falstaf (the second part's best scene by far), then maybe you can afford to give Part II a wide berth ...

I've had a few lazy, easy-going days. Went to see "The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse" yesterday. I'm a big "League" fan, and am going to see them live in December. I thought the film was OK, but not in the same league (forgive the awful pun!) as the TV series.

Began to read the fifth "Harry Potter" book. I've put it off for a long time, because of the size, but I'm finally digging in.

Went round to visit an uncle in his new house last night, along with my brother and his fiancee. Had a barabecue and sat outside, shooting the breeze and enjoying the weather. I like barbeques, but they're a lot of hard work -- much more fun when somebody else is doing the cooking!

Today I went to see "Silver City". It was OK, but not one of director John Sayle's best. Read some more of "HP5". Bas came over from Ireland. We went for dinner to Nando's, then for a nice long walk.

On the work front, I'm close to deciding on a final title for Book 3 of "The Demonata" -- it's down to a shortlist of two ...

Having a few days off from all things work-related. Went to see a couple of films at the cinema. The first, "Crash", was mostly excellent -- an on-the-ball study of race relations and problems. It painted quite a bleak picture of the world, but offered glimmers of hope, often in the unlikeliest of places. It had some of the best moments I've seen in films recently, though it might have maybe benefitted from cutting a few of the minor characters and sub-plots.

"Dear Wendy", the second film, was about a weird guy who falls in love with a gun. He gathers together a group of fellow gun-lovers, leading to an inevitable shoot-out with the local authorities. This was written by Lars Von Trier, one of my favourite directors, so I had high hopes for it, but despite being fascinating on a very strange level, it didn't quite grab me the way I'd wished. Not a bad movie, and definitely worth a look if you like your films twisted and atypical, but no classic.

Just got back from my trip to Portsmouth about an hour ago. I caught a train to Lymington Town from London Waterloo on Friday evening, with 3 friends, and met another en route (the one who own the boat). Drank quite a lot of beer and talked quite a lot of football!! Loaded our gear onto the boat in Lymington, and met the skipper and his missus. Went for a very nice curry later. Enjoyed it a lot, but I was breaking wind like mad the next day!!!! Stayed up late, watching the stars, drinking, and discussing the affairs of the world.

After about 3 hours of sleep, we had to rise and set sail for Portsmouth. Luckily it was a nice, calm day, so the sailing went very smoothly. I didn't feel even the least bit sick, which was an unexpected delight! We had the tide with us, so we completed the trip in about 2 and a half hours, instead of the expected 4 hours!!! I have to say, I'm no lover of boat trips. I like cruising along a river or slightly out to sea (where the waves aren't too choppy!!), but I have no interest in spending hours on end, or even days on end, on a boat. Small doses suit me fine!

We had a late breakfast or early lunch in Portsmouth, had a few drinks, then went to the match. I don't want to offend any Portsmouth fans, but the stadium - Fratton Park - is a real tip!!! It's like something from the dark days of football, as if it had travelled through time from the 1950s. And the section of the stand where the away fans sit is uncovered -- there's no roof!!! Now, that's fine if it's a sunny August afternoon -- but yesterday, it rained non-stop for the full 90 minutes of the match, and most of the time it rained heavily!!!! All us Spurs fans were soaked to the bone. And I do mean SOAKED!!! You'd expect such conditions at a club in the lower divisions, but not in the Premiership, or even in the Championship! And the toilet facilities were awful too! Don't even get me started on the food stall!!!! It's just not good enough for Premiership football. In my view, Portsmouth should be forced to bring the stadium up to scratch, or they should be booted out!!!!!!

Now that I've got that rant off my chest ... Spurs won 2-0, so it was a great result! We've been very poor away from home for the last few seasons (well ... almost as long as I can remember, to be honest!!). In fact, this was our first away win in all of 2005!!!!!! We didn't play very well, but the win was the most important thing. All in all, it was worth getting soaked to see us notch up a rare away victory. The Spurs fans loved it -- we hardly stopped singing all through the game, especially in the second half, when it became clear that we were going to win. If you've never been to a football match, and are ever thinking of going to one, it might be worth trying to get tickets to an away game rather than a home match -- away fans are normally a lot more boisterious and enthusiastic than home fans ...

Had a few more drinks after the match, then went for a meal. Did a small bit of gambling in the casino near where we were docked, then had a fairly early night, tucking in not long after midnight -- we were all absolutely exhausted!!! Got up about 8 this morning, cleaned up the boat, then caught the train back to London. Feeling tired now, but not as wrecked as I might have been. When you get to your 30s, you tend not to party as hard or as late as you do in your 20s -- your body just can't take the aggro!!!!! I'm by no means a boring old fogey, but I do like to get a nice bit of sleep at the end of a busy night!!!!!!!!